1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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