are you still at the devil's house?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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