think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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