addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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