Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
