That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
