4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
