I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize