i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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