cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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