you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
