babies were throwing up all over the place
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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