ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
