Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
