is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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