they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
