your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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