I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
