we're blogging at a bar
Me too!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
