Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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