I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
