i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
