At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
