WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
