Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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