funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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