nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
