i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
