I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
