At least make sure they are 18
Why
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
