Your face is a jimmy john
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
