My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
