It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I skipped work to stalk him.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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