the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
