Quick, to the slutcave!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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