worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
