Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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