yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
