Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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