she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
