Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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