i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
