You made me cry and you don't even care
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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