Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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