is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
