Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
