As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
