Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
