I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
