Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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