you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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