you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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