please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize