My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
high people should be assigned attendants
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
