hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone says I win the strip club
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
