Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
