This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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