google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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