I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
