He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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