Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
