A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
