I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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