idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
