I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
