so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
