She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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