just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize