Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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