Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
